Michael Kaplan

NEW CASES OF COVID-19  LOMPOC FEDERAL PRISON: 310  REST OF SANTA BARBARA COUNTRY:1   An incarcerated physician describes his  chilling experiences with healthcare at  Lompoc Prison. The medical staff was rumored to be staffed by Doctors Mengele and Kevorkian, recruited from Africa after their clitorectomy practice dried up. They supposedly emerged at Lompoc where they learned they would be inoculated against civil litigation. When you enter prison, the world leaves you behind. You quickly realize that your life is inconsequential, and your medical problems are of little import. In my case, I needed a prostate pill that I had taken for years which was not on the formulary of drugs provided by the clinic. The formulary held a grand total of about one hundred types of pills to cover a gamut of medical illnesses. As long as your condition could be treated by one of those few pills, you were in good shape. If not, you had to request an appointment to see Dr. K...

SNEEZING WRONG IN PRISON CAN GET YOU PUNCHED IN THE FACE . Prison habits and customs are steeped in retrograde beliefs. While belching, farting, and yelling are par for the course, when it comes to sneezing, other inmates are vigilant in expecting others to follow a particular protocol. With the advent of Covid-19, this particular outre behavior may actually make some sense! Rather than cupping their mouth with their hand, inmates tend to sneeze into their shirts. This is considered both considerate, as well as sanitary in prison.  One out of every fifteen people born in the year 2000 will be incarcerated at some time in their life. Hopefully, you're not one of them. For more great tips of surviving prison, see the  prison survival guide for wimps.

The 2,300,000 people who are incarcerated in the United States are extraordinarily vulnerable to Covid-19.  Prison is a perfect breeding ground for the virus. There is no practical way to separate inmates. China has admitted to over 500 deaths in their prisons from Covid-19, primarily involving prisons in Shandong, and Zhejiang. Because of the combination of virulence and close living quarters that inmates experience, some countries have moved to release prisoners, as much as practical. While fortunately, 80% of cases of Covid-19 appear to be mild, 15% are severe, requiring hospitalization, and another 5% are deemed critical. Those at greatest risk are the elderly, and inmates with hypertension, diabetes, and lung disease. Sadly, there are a great number of inmates who fall into these vulnerable categories.